how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
