check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
