I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
