I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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