Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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