I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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