i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
