I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
