When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drunk is not a location!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
