Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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