tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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