just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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