Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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