I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
