Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
