sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
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