Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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