So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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