I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
