How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
