Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
