so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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