Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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