i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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