the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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