just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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