I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
