The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
