the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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