me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Acid is not a monday night drug
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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