i think my tv is drunk
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
