MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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