I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
