All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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