R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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