If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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