That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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