dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
