You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
