If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
