Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sobbing to NWA
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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