Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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