I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
