i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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