i don't like sucking hair
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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