idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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