next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
