I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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