Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
