Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
