Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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