Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
