he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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