alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
