she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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