it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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