either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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