i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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