i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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