That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
