guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
