ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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