we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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