I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
