did you get engaged???
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
